Nama Om…
Hari Haraaya Naama Krishna Yadavaya Naamahari, Gopal Govinda Ram Sri Madhusudhan
Mukham karoti vaachalam…

This is the bamboo straw. One-time plastic use we are trying to avoid. So we have the bamboo straw and they give a cleaning kit also so we can use it multiple times. Yesterday I went for my monthly check up at the Raila Hospital. I saw the hepatologist, dietician, ophthalmologist and the infectious diseases expert. Dr. Raila came to seem also, and he said that I am looking better. Then it seemed last year was a few days before!! But that trip on the other side of city, coming back here and giving class was very tiring. So today I had a meeting of the TOVPE, Temple of Vedic Planetarium Exhibits, which happened from 8 to 10.30 am. Then at 12 the speech therapist came and we got into pronouncing some of the difficult, terminal words. I asked him about the temple where they didn’t serve salt to the deity. He didn’t know. So I asked Mahavaraha to come and he explained uppu illa appan, that the deity who doesn’t eat salt and that has become shortened to Uppilliappan, so like that we were having fun, learning some Tamil words. Then this evening I had a Mayapur Vrndavan Trust meeting. I wanted to go to the snan yatra but all these meetings made it impossible. Any way I had meeting on the telephone and made comments. Now we are trying to see how Lord Caitanya is confiding in some of His intimate associates, some secrets how He saw and where He saw Krishna and how He attained Krishna and how He lost Krishna! So we will go on with that now.

I saw a beautiful boy blackish like a Tamal tree. He had His enchanting beautiful curly hair decorated with fresh gunjas. On top of His head, He was decorated with a colorful peacock feather and the jewels on His body which were rocking, were so bright that I could not see Him properly.

He held a very attractive flute in His hand which was very beautiful. On His lotus feet there were ankle bells which were very beautiful and attractive.

His arms were decorated with jewel ornaments and their beauty conquered that of a blue column, and His chest was decorated with the mark of the Srivatsa, and He wore a Kaustubha jewel and beautiful jeweled necklaces.

How can I understand how He wore His yellow dhoti? How can I describe the beautiful way He wore His yellow garments? The beauty of the ear rings shaped like shark increased the beauty of His lotus eyes!! Lord Caitanya is describing Krishna that He saw in Kanainaathshaala.

As He approached Me, He smiled again and again! And He came up to Me and He embraced Me and then He ran away somewhere!

Who can understand in which way Gaurasundar spoke? His mood can only be understood by someone who is favored by Him. Who else can understand Him? So Lord Caitanya is speaking very uncommon words and one who is not a devotee cannot understand these words. Those who imitate Lord Gauranga and try to show that they have achieved love of God, and artificially try to imitate Gaura, instead of love of God, they are simply running and rushing to Hell, without any impediment! Ha! So the prakrata sahajiyas, those who have deviated from the strict understanding of Lord Caitanya’s mood, they want to ruin themselves for accumulating wealth, women and fame, for the evil purpose of deceiving themselves and others. They don’t understand the characteristics of Gaura who is the personification of transcendental vipralambha or separation from the Lord. In other words, they respect the materialists, the fruitive workers, the impersonalists, the gyanis, who are devoid of devotional service to Krishna and who are engaged in material sense gratification, Then it is understood that they have not received the mercy from Shri Gaurasundar, and they are inviting grave inauspiciousness as the result of their own offences. They are trying to enjoy Gaura. This is explained by Srila Om Vishnupad Bhakti Siddhanta Saraswati Thakur Prabhupad.

While speaking in this way Vishwambhar lost consciousness and fell to the ground exclaiming Oh, KRISHNA! OH KRISHNA!

The devotees quickly picked up the Lord and they chanted Krishna! Krishna! and they pacified Him and brushed the dust from His divine body.

Although the Lord was pacified and He could not remain quiet, He continually cried, where is Krishna? Where is Krishna? WHERE IS KRISHNA!? He said while crying.

After some time, the Lord was peaceful, and Sri Gaurasundar exhibited His natural, extreme, humility throughout His body!

Everyone’s consciousness became greatly satisfied by hearing the Lord’s talk, on His devotional sentiments.

Everyone said, we are all very blessed. You have given us Your association thus making us most fortunate.

For one who gets Your association, what is the value of Vaikuntha? A moment of Your association gives the fruit of devotion. So Vaikuntha refers to the spiritual sky, the part which is saturated with opulence. So the phrase, ‘what one will do with Vaikuntha?’ means that, Vaikuntha is of less importance than what Lord Caitanya is giving.

We are all Your surrendered and maintained, and protected persons, You are the leader and lead us in kirtan, congregational chanting of the holy names of Krishna.

Words of the atheists burn all over our bodies, please relieve us with the cooling water of Your love!

Being satisfied with everyone, the Lord solaced everyone and returned to His house like a maddened lion.

Although He returned to His house, He did not discuss ordinary, household subjects. Rather He constantly appeared in ecstasy, due to the transcendental pleasure.

So even though Gaurasundar went home He did not discuss the mundane subjects that grihasthas or grihamedis discuss. He only wanted to discuss things which were connected to Krishna. He was always absorbed in love of separation from Krishna. This was the mood cin the house of Gauranga. In His household appearance, He was Narayana and Vishnupriya was Mahalakshmi. But His personal involvement at this stage was always being in separation of Krishna.

How many tears of bliss were coming from His transcendental eyes, so that it seemed that the Ganga was emanating from His lotus eyes. The Ganga which originally emanated from His lotus feet was now emanating from His lotus eyes. In using this ornamental language, saying that the Ganges which emanates from the feet of Vishnu now seem to be flowing from His eyes, this shows the poetic genius of Vrndavandas Thakur who is said to be the incarnation of Vyasadev. The feeling of separation from Krishna is also blissful and that is what materialists cannot understand, how the Lord who seems to be suffering from the separation is actually experiencing ecstasy and bliss.

Where is Krishna? Where is Krishna? These were the only words that the Lord spoke. And if someone enquired, then there was no other reply. If anyone asks Lord Caitanya, Lord Gauranga, anything else, He would always respond with topics of Krishna. He wouldn’t say anything else. He was totally absorbed in separation and thoughts of Krishna.

When the Lord saw any vaishnava, any devotee, He asked him, where is Krishna? Which direction is Krishna?

After The Lord spoke in this way, He wept profusely and various persons would try to solace Him according to their ability.

That ends the 51st chapter, Vishwambhar describes how He saw Krishna and lost Krishna.

So in Kanainaathshaala there is a very old tree and there is the place t where Lord Caitanya rolled on the ground when He couldn’t find Krishna. Krishna came and embraced Him and then ran off and then Lord Caitanya ran after Him and Krishna went behind the tree and when Lord Gaurasundar went behind the tree he did not see Krishna. So then he fell to the ground and rolled, crying for Krishna!

Haribol! Gauranga! Gauuuuuuuranga! Gauuuuuuuuuuranga! Gauuuuuuuuuuuranga!


Transcribed by Jayaraseshwari devi dasi
6 January 2018