Jayapataka Swami: Self-respect synonymous with pride? Self-pride or ahankar is that the same as self-respect? If you think that you have many good qualities, it is due to the mercy of guru or Srila Prabhupada, or Krsna, how does one lose any self-respect? In fact, you are blessed. Nothing to be proud of, except you got blessings. So if someone things that I am great, I deserve – one person said, I AM HUMBLE! I AM HUMBLE! I was amazed! I had never heard anyone yelling, I am humble! So people they sometimes say straight things and they think that is self-respect but I think that being blessed by the guru is the greatest blessing, greatest action. So if someone thinks that I am blessed by guru and Krsna, why should that affect their self-esteem. That may bring down their ahankara or false ego – that I will do, I am the most humble, I am the most fallen, I am the greatest! Who wants to hear that? Who wants to think that? So in the book Vaisnava ke, Srila Bhaktisiddanta Saraswati Thakur he said, that a vaisnava ordinarily get respect, they get pratista, they get some position, some respect, that comes naturally. But if one wants respect,they want pratista then pratista asha, desire for self-esteem and self-respect and desire for pratista is like the stool of a pig. I never heard such! A pig eats stool, so his stool must be super stool!! Stool’s stool. Srila Bhaktisiddanta Saraswati Thakur would sometimes say such heavy things! We cannot imagine. Sukarabista. A pig’s stool. I certainly don’t want to have desires which are included in the stool of a pig. So self-esteem, naturally devotees should have self-esteem. Even if you see it is artificial, if you have self-esteem, even if someone offends you, you are not a nice person, there is a saying Bengali too much bhakti is a sign of a pig! If someone says you are so great. I know someone who came up when I was staying in the Gaudiya matt. Srila Prabhupada had sent me to join Acyutananda and he said that he had his own place. But that wasn’t true. He was staying in the Gaudiya Matt. So we were travelling by tram and someone sat next to me. He started praising me. This person went up to the room of Acyutananda and he said, can I offer a flower to the deity? So Acyutananda went down to get a flower for the deity. He was on the fourth floor. So when he came back the person was walking down the stairs, ‘being with you I feel so changed, I feel so divine, I feel completely.Thank you so much!’ So Acyutananda went up to his room saying what a nice person. He went up to his room. It was turned upside down and he had stolen all his money! Then he realized that the man was a complete cheater! We don’t need it. We want to serve guru and Krsna. If They recognize us, we don’t want even a hundred other appreciations. If guru and Krsna appreciate that is success.
09-NOVEMBER-2019 BHAKTIVEDANTA MANOR, ENGLAND